‘Who Are You?’ What it Means to be an Afghan Among Americans

by Abuzar Royesh - Posts (5). Posted Thursday, October 18th, 2012 at 11:38 am

“Hey, who are you?” The straightforward question came to me in my first day as a high school student in America.

I was about to begin the biography-like chronicle of my life, as I would when I was back in Afghanistan, when it hit me. Who was I, indeed?

Afghanistan flag

What do Americans think of when they see this? Probably not me.

It was then that I truly realized I no longer lived in Afghanistan, where I was Abuzar Royesh, a moderately well-known student in one of the best high schools in Kabul. At that moment all the adjectives I would normally use to describe myself felt hollow and empty. Who cared what my name was or how popular I was back in Afghanistan?

I realized that the farther I got from Afghanistan, the more pieces of my identity fell away. Here in the U.S. I no longer was a Hazara, a tag that distinguished me from the people of other ethnicities, a Ghaznichi (from Ghazni Province), as the inhabitants of other provinces would identify me. My most important piece of identity was not even “Abuzar Royesh,” the birth name my parents chose to for me.

Here in the U.S. I was first and foremost an Afghan: a title that conjured up Taliban and al Qaeda, war, killings, and explosions.

Cough. I cleared my throat, “I am Abuzar. I am an exchange student from Afghanistan…” Before I finished my sentence I could already see the astonishment in his eyes.

“Wow! So cool. How did you make it here?”

I started to explain my story. But just as I began the entire monologue I had memorized in response to this question, he spurted out the next one.

“What is life like in Afghanistan?”

I now attempted to answer this question. Again, before I could get my words out, further questions started showering me incessantly. I couldn’t understand his thirst for interrogating me about Afghanistan. Having lived all of my life in Afghanistan and Pakistan, to me Afghanistan was merely a country; a homeland, just like all others. I felt as ordinary in my country as any kid from the U.S. or France would feel in theirs.

A student carrying a saxophone and some sheet music walks along a corridor at the Kabul Music Academy January 7, 2012 (Photo: Reuters)

Would you imagine that this is Afghanistan? It is. (Photo: Reuters)

But seemingly this wasn’t what he thought of my country. As I would learn later on, to him and many other Americans, Afghanistan was just a remote land where thousands of American soldiers sacrificed their lives in a doomed attempt to bring democracy and stability, and where billions of American dollars had vanished. They were apparently startled to meet someone actually from there; someone who had a different story from what they knew.

From that moment on, the identity I had previously forged for myself was overtaken by a new definition of me: “Afghan.” On the first day of my academic year in the U.S., when the emcee called out the six international students’ names and their respective countries, I saw how all eyes fixed on me when my country’s name was called. Wherever I went or whatever I did, I bore the Afghan tag. I had now become the avatar of my country, and I realized that whatever I said and whatever I did, I was helping create my classmates’ perception of what an Afghan person is.

I carried with me Afghanistan’s long history of civil wars, Afghans’ presumed hatred towards the United States, and corrupt and despotic governments, though I was responsible for none of it.

But I could show them that Afghanistan is a normal country, just like the U.S. Youth in Afghanistan also have their hopes and ambitions, they also seek time for relaxation, they enjoy wearing the latest fashion, playing videogames, and having access to latest technologies. To create this new image, I had to choose each of my moves very vigilantly; a minor slip and I could annihilate this new depiction of “normal” Afghanistan I strived to sketch.

When I came to school in jeans, a t-shirt, and basketball shoes, I realized, in my classmates’ minds all Afghans dressed in the same fashion. The food on my plate or the drink in my cup became recipes for how an Afghan would eat. Every “A” I acquired in my classes earned Afghanistan an “A,” and I felt that my failures and the things I didn’t know became testaments to Afghanistan’s ignorance.

Farima holds Afghanistan's flag

One way Afghan students in the US represent the country – participating in cultural events, like this one at Farima’s high school

This new role brought with it conflicting emotions. In many ways it deprived me of the prospect to be an ordinary kid, like all the other students I would regularly see in my classes. At times, I confess, I envied some of my classmates’ courage to blow off studying or doing homework, while I had to always appear diligent and motivated.

When my high school friends went to parties and theaters, or played videogames, I had to do community service or give presentations about my country as part of my exchange program. I still remember that my high school prom was at the same time as a workshop by the exchange program about our return to Afghanistan.

And while other students could be callous about what happened in the world around them, I had to be able to analyze and discuss what was going on not only in Afghanistan, but also in the Middle East and other parts of the world.

I was a person their age sharing most of their urges, needs, and desires; why did I alone have to shoulder this extra responsibility?

Sometimes I would try to hide my Afghan identity by presenting my student ID instead of my passport in the airports or by struggling to adjust my accent when shopping or talking to strangers; all this to evade the questions I was sure would follow once someone learned I was from Afghanistan.

But on the other hand, I felt proud to have substituted the predominant American images of Afghanistan with my own; I had found a voice to cry my generations’ aspirations, wants, and ideologies. I would introduce Afghanistan through the eyes of my generation, a generation tired of the animosity and ignorance that had ruled Afghanistan, endeavoring to make the country a better place.

This pride and joy counterbalanced all the exhaustion I would at times feel. I may have lost pieces of my identity that I had grown accustomed to back home, but I now felt there was more to me than I had previously aspired for.

16 Responses to “‘Who Are You?’ What it Means to be an Afghan Among Americans”

  1. Huh, really very difficult to live in America for a minute specially when you cam from Pakistan, India, aur Afghanistan, I can really understand your feelings, but we learn from our life to face these kind of things….

    • mary lisa gustafson says:

      Hi, I am a friend of Abuzar’s. I can’t imagine what you have to tolerate from some people. But remember there are many many Americans who understand, and who want to know you and embrace you. You are to be commended that you can live in another country and so far away from home. Just let your light shine and forgive anyone who doesn’t understand. Let your actions speak for themselves. Take care.

  2. Sohail says:

    It is true Abuzar that a single Afghan wherever he will go; he will show how is the Afghans and how is the conditions and the way of living of Afghanistan, I am really proud of you people who think about Afghanistan in this way which is tremendous efforts towards the dignity of Afganistan

  3. Drew says:

    Abuzar, I know how amazing you are. I am very pleased to see you writing about your experiences here in America. I will echo your comments about Americans’ misperception about Afghanistan and especially what it is like to live there. I am proud to know you.

  4. baqer says:

    Royesh! It was a great writing, i really enjoyed reading this valuable writing, but we as “hazara’s” should always pass the information about our great people peaceful habits, none of those hate are created by the action of our great nation. The community in the western countries shouldnt hate us due to others crimes.

  5. Mark Mulhern says:

    I’m proud of you Abuzar!
    Welcome back to my country!

  6. mary lisa gustafson says:

    Very nice essay, Abuzar. Our experiences in life continue to reveal who we really are. I know who you are – a wonderful young man who would do anything to help anybody, And, oh yes, you are from Afghanistan!

    I miss you!

  7. Abdul Khabir Mirzakhail says:

    I am falling short of words to say how beautifully this essay is crafted. You have done a great of job of depicting the challenges students face in the United States. But don’t forget that challenges are opportunities in disguise.

    Keep up doing good work

    God bless you

    Your fellow Afghan

  8. Muhammad Kashif says:

    Good to see Afghans making an impact on the world stage.

    In some ways you are not only the representative of Afghans but Muslims at large and by proxy Middle East. Those are big shoes to fill but it sounds like you are doing just fine. I wish you continued success and hope you are celebrating Eid-al-Adha next week.

    Muhammad Kashif
    Pakistan.

  9. Mustafa Omid says:

    Really nice Abuzar!!! We need youths like you to represent Afghanistan and its precious past history to all our American friends!!! The US should understand this that there are values for every nation that they are inspired of !!! Thanks

  10. Mustafa says:

    Abuzar, you are truly an inspiration!!!
    Like you, many Afghan students have to go through similar situations and with all honestly it is not a comfortable place to be at. However, it takes Afghans like you with the determination to give a different image of Afghanistan, one that is about people like you. One that hates war and loves education. One that wants sometime to breath in peace so that young Afghans like you keep inspiring the ones that will come tomorrow. You should know that you are a perfect representation of the Afghan youth and you are making all of us proud. Congrats!!!

  11. meqdad says:

    i know how u feel lalai. keep it up! we all proud of u :)

  12. Mahdi says:

    Hey Abuzer jan good to see your article over there.

    It is been hard for all those who are separated from their homeland specially Afghanistan
    and I am happy that u doing great and you are the throat for our voice to tell for the whole world of what Afghanistan is and what is their youth power, aspiration and feeling.
    keep it up Abuzer jan. Best wishes mahdi

  13. Madadi says:

    Abuzar Jan!
    Thank you for the great piece you put here! It is just as awesome as yourself.
    This is the responsibility of every and each of us to make a difference and bring a change, maybe the first step would be to change the poor global image. Why a single mess undermines a bunch of achievements, or at least positive things? Why should 30 Million people be humiliated in the airports only to compensate the damn perception of a few in and abroad?

  14. Yosuf says:

    Great piece of writing Abuzar ! Time to Go Ahead and wish you best studies !!!

  15. baran says:

    that is a great feeling of being an afghan among strangers because i am U.K and i really feel the same because all this people know afghans and Afghanistan is war and fighting. they don’t know what thing what talented people are in Afghanistan, that is why we need to have a such representatives to represent our country.
    thanks for taking the responsibility sir!
    you were also great in Afghanistan!

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