New Year, New Relationships

Posted April 21st, 2011 at 3:01 pm (UTC-4)
1 comment

Bun Tharum | Phnom Penh

As in past, this year’s Cambodia’s New Year celebrations saw many of that nation’s young traveling home, visiting old friends and catching up with their families. This is a time-honored tradition.

But now that the festivities are concluded and people return to their modern lives, Cambodia’s youth are returning to the cities, and  increasingly grappling with social relationships that take place online.

Young Cambodians dominate the online space of social networking sites like Facebook.  A large number of Cambodia’s Facebook users are aged between 18 and 34.

Relationships are changing as a result, and that includes romance.

In Cambodia, parents traditionally have much say in their children’s marriage. They believe they’ve been through years of experience in building and maintaining family lives, and think their choices are better for the future of their children.

But more and more youth are finding their personal lives conducted inside the walled gardens of the Internet,  on sites like Facebook, or local dating site Angkor One – both of which are only accessible to registered users and among those one chooses to admit.  Meaning: a space where parents are often excluded.

The result is that social networks have become a comfortable virtual space for people to meet with their old classmates, as well as to build and break relationships, away from their parent’s eyes.

Roath, 23, first met his girlfriend when they were dining out together with a group of friends.  Since then he keeps in touch with his girlfriend, who’s now in Singapore for her studies, through Internet calls, using desktop software Skype and mobile app Vibe.

Roath, who works in Phnom Penh, says he’s recently changed his Facebook relationship status from “complicated” to “in a relationship” to announce publicly that he’s no longer available.

In a recent email, Roath, who asked that his surname be withheld, said:

“actually, i dun wanna put in relationship. but since she is far away from me she wants me to change to in relationship hmm… that’s y i change to ‘in relationship.’”

In a sign of how the Internet has become more commonplace in Cambodian relationships, famous vocalist Preap Sovath struck a hit recently with, “To Start Facebook, To Start Love.”  The song tells a story of a lonesome man who first met a woman on networking site Facebook.  As the friendship later become a love relation, the man became obsessed with the site by spending much of the time forgetting his day meals and waiting for her reply to his messages.

The trend of Facebook love songs doesn’t end here. Popular singers like Khemarak Sereymon and his sister, Khemrak Sreypov, have also joined in.

The popular Internet site is often the first stop for the web-savvy to find out what their friends are up to, as well.  From old family and colleague photos, to last-night party snapshots, to complains about traffic jams, the instant stream of updates makes users feel more connected within their peers and surroundings than ever.

When asked to compare her parents’ generation to her own, Sokkea – a former DJ at Love FM 97.5 Phnom Penh – said:

“I think it’s different in a way that it’s faster and easier, but it’s more costly. Since people have more access to these ways of communication, they tend to spend more.  I have more opportunities than they did just because I use Internet to keep my friendship and to network.”

Sokkea feels more connected with friends and others, saying

“…my generation is completely different from my parents’.  I have more opportunities than they did just because I use Internet to keep my friendship and to network…My parents never seemed to communicate as much as I do, which reserve some disadvantages.”

Meas Sopheak, a lecturer at Institute of Foreign Language, echoed Sokkea’s thoughts.  “If in my parents’ generation there were such modern mobile phones and the Internet, they would certainly have used them.  But the thing is that there weren’t any.”

I admit Facebook is a great medium not only to keep in touch with friends around the world, but also to make new connection,” writes Cambodian Facebook user Borei Sylyvann. “It’s really effective that it can both reach my real friends and my virtual friends abroad. I believe we should appreciate this technology. My parents would lost connection with many of their old friends.”

This kind of online social interaction is likely to increase, as more people become used to Facebook and the Internet in their social lives.  And that means many more questions of just how to navigate these online connections and the social challenges they present.

Witness the comments of this Cambodian Facebook user who requested to remain anonymous:

“Logging in Facebook is still the first thing I do every time I start up my netbook.  However, I no longer have much to do in that which result in me spending less time.  Yet, from a friendship point of view I think I don’t know what is going on with my friends now, which is not a good sign at all.”

Notes the Institute of Foreign Languages Meas Sopheak:

“Although possessing these modern applications and devices would be a lot beneficial to the young, at the same time these things also present lots of harmful effects to they themselves and the society at large.  Perhaps it would be a good idea to have some public awareness raising to educate young people about living morally and healthily.”

As more Cambodians go online and join Facebook, they’ll have to learn how to best navigate the new digital social landscape.

For Teng Somongkol, a research assistant currently at the University of Minnesota, it came as a surprise to get a friend request from his father.  Last week he updated his Facebook status: “OMG! My dad wants a Facebook account.”

Asked how he’s going to handle this situation, Teng Somongkol said:

“His presence on Facebook will remind me to be more vigilant on what I post and do. As a son and as someone who is living away from him, I do have a mixed feeling for his decision.”


One response to “New Year, New Relationships”

  1. socheat moeuk says:

    “It is great! Facebook is one of the easiest way to communicate with the people around the world. They can see not only our photos but also our comment. You can make a connection with any one and leave a comment. The most important is that you can leave your comment and your photos for everyone as well”

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