Who’s Nicer, Americans or Chinese?

Before coming to the U.S., some people told me that Americans are very nice, warm and friendly, while others said that the western culture and philosophy is about egoism, highly individualism which means little emotional bonds among people, in other words, Americans are selfish and cold. Those were what I have been told before.

Yes Nice
Creative Commons photo by Flickr user MR38

(Neither is true~~~)

After living here for a while, based my observation and feelings, Americans are indeed nicer in some aspects, such as TALKING. It is way too easy to get complimentary words from my dear American friends. Foreign new comers are sure to be flattered all the time all the time, but as time goes by, they will figure out it and become the ones who output nice words.

So newcomers, please take a conservative attitude when people here say you are amazing, great or something is wonderful, perfect. Most of times, it is just a habit of saying like that, the truth is you are still who you are, your worries are still out there, just enjoy the compliment for a second and then get back to real life.

Once one of my classmates tried to borrow a handcream from others, another classmate said she might have one and looked for it in her purse, murmuring it was always messy in the purse. The girl borrowing handcream said wow your purse is nice!! I was about to faint. Yes, her purse is not shoddy, but sometimes just can not take good words too seriously.

Even nicer, a Sugar Daddy is also a cand
Even nicer, a Sugar Daddy is also a candy (Creative Commons photo by Flickr user .imelda)

Americans always have ideas about saying something not very respectable in a sweet way. For example, paying for a mistress is called “mutual beneficial relationship” which sounds really nice. True, both sides enjoy the benefits. Also, the rich old man and beautiful young women get the sweet name which are sugar daddy and sugar baby rather than cruel names, like 包养 二奶(you may Google them) in China.

In comparison, Chinese are educated to save complimentary words for the moments when things are really outstanding and exceptional and in the occasions where they are necessary. See? there are several strings pulling Chinese back from saying nice words. But not saying complimentary stuff does not means they do not like you or things you do, they are just admiring you in hearts.

Personally I think being nice or not has more to do with who specific person is than the territory. Nice people and freak ones spread out every corner of the world, and sometimes a nice person could be unfriendly in some certain circumstances. People just have different ways to show how they love or dislike this world and people around them.

[Editor’s Note: You may not know this, but Tara also has her own blog over at thebarbiechat.com.  She wrote this originally for that blog, but was nice enough to cross-post it here]


  1. “Americans are indeed nicer ” – You DO realize the Republican party hates the Chinese goverment and the immigrants who flock the job market right? You DO realize most of us Americans are quite ignorant and discriminate the people from China some calling them “chinks* right? You do realize the Asian American populations struggle to be accepted as American but get stereotype all the time in the media right?

    There are nice and mean ppl everywhere. I personally think the Chinese IN GENERAL are much nicer.

  2. santoshoulle,
    I don’t know how to apply what, but I am doing my part to make a better world for us. See my website pluvinergy.com. Passord for now is: yeswecan.

    I invite you and all who visit to join me, this is an exiting and noble quest as you will see. Much development has been done since website was set up, its a little dated but if interested you will see contact info there.

  3. ViKy, Any discussion is devisive if rude, dishonest, or unfair. Any discussion can also be instructive and constructive if sincere, honest, and fair.

    The fact is that both our upper classes have substantial traditions of arrogance. Both nations have expressed power imorally in hindsight.

    It is valuable to ascert that both our cultures are largely equal, valuable, beautiful, and leading to a new humanity of peace, prosperity, and harmony.

  4. Viky: Because it is fun, it is critically important as our nations grow together, it is part of our mutual prosperity, and as we know each other better our differences and simmilarities become apparent even if misperceptions, or illusory. And, no, we are not that different, only our trajectory and dynamics differ for now.

  5. Frankly speaking I do not see any sense in comparason these two nations. They are diffrerent worlds with their good and bad sides. Comparason is impossible.

  6. In fact friends of mine, if we can value our creator then, this racism of a thing we come to pas. We are form one creator. I don’t see why we shuold discreminate other. Like one my friend said; “there are bad and good people everywhere and around us” I definately agree with that comment. So, we have to appreciate ourselves at anytime anywhere we come across each other. Love for everyone around me.

  7. People are so similar, that’s why generalisations are so popular. It’s not accurate to discriminate on racist grounds but I think you will find that rich Americans and rich Chinese are quite similar, just like poor Americans and poor Chinese are… so discriminating on a socio-economic basis may be difficult to argue against.

    The better question is are poor people nicer than rich people?

  8. Nice article. Just exactly what I always tell people when they catigorize certain country or group of people as bad. From my experience, there are good and bad people everywhere.

  9. A great piece of article as far as @ Tara expressed her inner passion .
    Certainly , most of the time it’s the environment & people that directly influence others . Obviously , everyone of us is a special creature but still many of us , we don’t know ; what we are capable of ? Perhaps , everything takes time to understand around globe ; what’s the weighty issues ? . More important , life needs partnership ; not someone’s egotism . Say ; Peace around us ” !

  10. You have to be kidding.

    Visit Hiroshima. You’ll love the nice Americans who rebuilt the buildings after barbequing the people.

    Mao Tse Tung was pretty nice, too. Nicer than Hitler, anyway.

      1. People are people. There are good and bad in all
        cultures. Your comment,”Both the Chinese and the Americans (whites) are the same….RACIST!” Only makes you sound lie a Racist. Please look in the mirror and quit generalizing.

  11. Agu and Joey, you are right, both of you. It’s an interesting question, and the article has it just about right. Lovely hearts people on both sides, and ugly ones too.

    The point is to be lovely on the inside, it will come out despite traditions or modality.

    Love Always, Ni Alive

  12. This is what i experience in china. They don’t like coming close to the blacks but there are still some chinese that don’t have the defference about racism they value human as them, themselves because we all come from one creator.

  13. My European friends say that we Americans are friendly on the surface but it’s difficult to develop a deep long-lasting relationship with us.

    1. How very ignorant of you. Preferring is one thing but saying one race has discrimination while the other doesn’t is plain ignorance. All races have racism. In American history, they’ve once passed the “Chinese Exclusion Act”. Sound familiar? Please check out your history before posting stupid BS. Thankyouverymuch.

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